the fuzzkill: oscar the nursing home cat/murderer

This week I’d like to talk about a pretty well known cat story, that of Oscar the nursing home cat.  I’m sure most of you have heard of Oscar, but for those of you who haven’t, a short re-telling of the facts from CNN.com

“Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means the patient has less than four hours to live.”

Not surprisingly, the pro-cat media cabal focuses on the positive aspects of the story. Knowing when a resident is going to die gives doctors time to notify the family so that everyone can say goodbye. Also cited as a positive is the power that Oscar has to comfort a dying old person.

 

Am I the only one who thinks that there’s maybe a causal relationship between Oscar’s presence and the death of his victim?  I’m no Dr. House, but it didn’t take me long to figure out that pneumonia is one of the leading causes of death in nursing homes, and that respiratory problems related to allergies can be a contributing factor to development of respiratory infection.  The more likely possibility, considering that Oscar “grew up in a third-floor dementia unit” and might be a little bit unbalanced as a result, is that he simply murders the patients.

 

Shhh

As far as I can tell, the only scientific theory so far is that Oscar’s “behavior could be driven by self-centered pleasures like a heated blanket placed on a dying person.”  So Oscar wants to steal warmth from dying old people?  That’s not quite as bad as murder, I suppose, but still pretty f-ed. 

 

So I guess what I’m saying is that if you like cats, you may as well just kill old people.

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