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Archive for November, 2008

I love cats. I love books (I work in publishing, for those of you who don’t know). And that’s why I loved this photo gallery on the Los Angeles Times book blog of cats and books. This photo was my favorite:

catomnivoresdilemma

I wish I had some pictures of Jack with books, but he prefers the computer.

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menageries

Have you ever thought gee, I really wish I had a stuffed animal that looked like heartworm to remind me that my pet should go to the vet once a year? Well, thanks to Giant Microbes (and thanks to the mysterious entity behind the fuzzkill for sending me the link), now you can have your very own mange, heartworm, toxoplasmosis, and many, many other microbes to remind you to take your cat to the vet as well as avoid strep and herpes.

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This week, I’m going to take a step back from my usual “Cat’s are taking over the ‘X’ in ‘Y’ way” diatribe. I think it’s time for some positive bad cat news.

I am thankful for cat humiliation.

The best part about crazy cat ladies is that their enthusiasm for feline companionship often leads them to hurt the ones they love. I’m not talking about physical abuse, which I don’t advocate. I’m referring, of course, to the emotional trauma caused by severe acts of humiliation.

My first example comes courtesy of Gizmodo, and I think it’s a good, representative example of the kind of cat humiliation you’ve probably come to expect.

Insert funny LolCats saying here.  I suggest “I iz eatn your brainz now”

Insert funny LolCats saying here. I suggest “I iz eatn your brainz now”

My second example raises the bar on cat humiliation in a way that I personally find both twisted and courageous. It comes from the cat humiliation clearinghouse at Stuff on My Cat, and shows the effect that can be achieved when you’re willing to shave your cat before you dress it up. It’s quite stunning.

“Iz did so much angeldust last nite!!”

Suggested LolCatz tagline: “Iz did so much angeldust last nite!!”

Finally, for those of you looking for something a little more extreme, feast your eyes on my favorite example of cat humiliation by far. It comes from the Ten Speed Press book Why Paint Cats (spoiler alert: there’s no good reason) which I highly you find the book at your local bookstore, but here’s just a taste, and yes, it’s real:

This cat is a total whore.

This cat is a total whore.

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santos

This is Santos, officially ruled the best cat in the world this past weekend at the Cat Fanciers’ Association International Cat Show in Atlanta. This article details his lavish lifestyle, including sleeping on special pillows, being fed by hand, taking four baths a week (for reference, my cat has never had a bath), and winning 39 out of the 40 cat shows he’s entered. You know it burns him up inside that he didn’t win that 40th one. All that blow drying for nothing. His owner claims there was a bad judge, but Santos knows the truth, I’m sure.

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mittens

Perhaps you’ve seen the commercials for the new Disney movie Bolt. It’s the heartwarming story of a dog (voiced by John Travolta) who tries to make it back to his owner (Miley Cyrus) with the help of a cat (Susie Essman from Curb Your Enthusiasm) and a hamster (some guy I hadn’t heard of). I haven’t seen it yet, but according to CatChannel.com “Mittens is tough as nails, living on the streets of New York and exerting her feline power over the other animals in the neighborhood.”

That sounds great. I’m sure she’s extremely “tough as nails” with a name like Mittens. Seriously, Disney? You couldn’t come up with a more creative name than Mittens? Was Fluffy already taken? Mrs. Whiskers too long?

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mr. lee’s magic cat camera

mrlee1

This is Mr. Lee, and that silly-looking box around his neck is his cat cam, designed to snap pictures throughout Mr. Lee’s day. On this day, for example, he crawled through some grass, watched a bird house, and met up with another cat underneath a car.

Now, since Jack is an indoor cat, it would be quite boring if I were to get him one of these–basically just bed, couch, litter box, etc. But if you have an outdoor cat, you can order one here, and let your cat become just like the cats in the CatCam User Gallery, which includes Kirk from Germany, Cooper from Seattle, and Kikki from Australia. (Mr. Lee himself is a native of South Carolina).

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We all know that cats are wackier than dogs. But occasionally, a dog will do something other than drool. Like drive a car.

2008_11_bentley

That’s Bentley. Earlier this week on Long Island, Bentley’s owner left him in the car while he went into a coffee shop (cleverly called “Cool Beanz”) to sign up for an open mike night. He left the car on so that Bentley could enjoy the heat during this unseasonable cold snap. Bentley then drove the car into the coffee shop window. Did he want his own open mike slot? Did he want some coffee? Did he want to register dislike of the use of a “z” in place of an “s”? The world will never know.

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