if you don’t want to cry . . .

You probably shouldn’t check out Deaf Animals, a blog devoted to deaf (and often blind) cats and dogs needing homes. Here are a few that pierced my heart:

Rex

Maxi

And finally, the animal that made me tear up most of all:

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mary gaitskill’s lost cat

This piece in Granta by Mary Gaitskill is about her lost cat, Gattino, but also so much more. It is very long but also very worth it.

“Six months after Gattino disappeared my husband and I were sitting in a restaurant having dinner with some people he had recently met, including an intellectual writer we both admired. The writer had considered buying the house we were living in and he wanted to know how we liked it. I said it was nice but it had been partly spoiled for me by the loss of our cat. I told him the story and he said, ‘Oh, that was your trauma, was it?’

I said yes. Yes, it was a trauma.

You could say he was unkind. You could say I was silly. You could say he was priggish. You could say I was weak.”

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average cats: the anti-LOLcats

For every person who hates cats that talk about cheezburgers and invisible bicycles, this is the site for you. My favorites:

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after you massage your cat, let your cat massage you!

Last week, we learned how to massage our cats. Now it seems as though our cats were paying attention and have taken things into their own paws.

Okay, so this cat is massaging a dog, but humans could be next!

Also, they look completely different in the face, but this cat’s body looks so much like my cat Jack’s body that it’s freaking me out. And Jack does occasionally give back massages . . .

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cat says “yum,” takes world by storm

I love a good talking cat as much as the next person, but did we really need three minutes of this?

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man kills girlfriend’s cats? maybe.

It goes without saying that any story of animal cruelty makes me sad and completely furious. But I just read a story that I can’t stop thinking about.

Sean Lynde, a 36-year-old graphic designer from here in New York City, has been accused of killing at least four of his girlfriend’s cats during a four-month period. But the case isn’t as simple as it sounds.

Lynde moved in with his gf, Rachael Strate, when she had two cats. Three days later, one was found dead with a broken jaw. Then the other cat suffered extensive head trauma. Lynde’s gf then adopted two kittens, one of which was returned after suffering trauma, and another that “fell off a table.” She then adopted two MORE kittens, one of which suffered a broken paw and then went missing, and the other of which went blind and was then found with a broken neck.

Lynde’s guilt or innocence will be decided in court. But something is very wrong here regardless. If your cats started dying in mysterious ways after your boyfriend moved in, would you keep adopting more? The girlfriend had to have been lying about her previous cats to any adoption services, because there’s no way they’d let a cat go to someone who’d had four cats die on them in as many months. I’m not saying she’s guilty of anything other than being oblivious, but this doesn’t seem as open and shut as it should.

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this cat is a high school graduate

This is Oreo Collins.

Her beginnings were humble; she was found on the side of the road by Kelvin Collins, the CEO of the Better Business Bureau of Central Georgia, during his son’s football practice. But now Oreo has gone on to obtain something many human Americans don’t: her high school diploma.

As part of a plan to expose online diploma mills, Kelvin helped Oreo apply for her diploma, assisting in her life experience essay on her adoption and letting her sit on his lap while she completed the test. Now she’s an official high school graduate–if you consider a degree from Jefferson High School online to be official, which you shouldn’t.

Nevertheless, Oreo is very happy to be the first cat to earn a high school diploma. Only time will tell if she eventually earns her Ph.D.

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amy winehouse uses cat for nefarious purposes

Train wreck Amy Winehouse has added something new to her repertoire of crazy behavior: using her cat, Shirley, to communicate with her estranged husband.

Amy’s made a Facebook profile for her cat, Shirley, and last night Shirley’s status was “Shirley loves Sailor” (Sailor being Winehouse’s nickname for her almost-ex, Blake Fielder-Civil.)

If Shirley could talk, she’d probably tell Amy to grow a pair and talk to her ex herself.

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kittenify your life

Is the news getting you down? Sick of boring websites with pictures of bombers, politicians, and just generally crazy people? Rather look at kittens instead? Believe it or not, there is a solution!

It’s a teensy bit complicated to Kittenify your life, but it’s worth it.

The directions: Go to this site. Bookmark it. Then go into your bookmarks and change the URL that this bookmark points to so that it is the javascript from that page. (To do this in Firefox, go to the Bookmarks tab, then go to Organize Bookmarks.)

Okay, now you’re ready to Kittenify. Go to any website. Go to your bookmarks and click on the bookmark you made. Get ready for awesomeness as every photo on that page is replaced with a photo of a kitten. Check it out!

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the best awkward family photo ever

So what do you think, should my boyfriend and I copy this for our holiday card? We’d have to get another cat, but I think it would be worth it.

Seriously, though, I am pleased to see cats on awkwardfamilyphotos.com.

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