You’ll notice that the title of this post is “Cat Robber,” instead of the more obvious “Cat Burglar.” You know why? Because I’m not going to play that game.
This week’s post is about “Frankie”, a cat who has been terrorizing his quiet UK town of Swindon. He is quite an accomplished thief, stealing anything he can get his greedy little paws on: plush toys, rubber “beefburgers” (Oh! British people!), green witch’s heads (?), old socks, “nappy sacks” (??), etc. etc.
Predictably, the mainstream media coverage of this story focuses on how quirky the whole thing is. There no tough questions asked of this cat or its owner. More importantly, the strangest part of the story is completely passed over: this cat has stolen 15 identical toy leopards. Am I the only one who wants to know why everybody in this town owns an identical toy leopard? Sounds like a cat cult to me . . .
More importantly than this lack of journalistic integrity is the underlying cat/human double-standard that so many of you people are blind to. I can’t just go around stealing things and expect to get away with it, then get written up in the local paper for how cute and quirky I am.
I call it “the boyfriend rule.” When a cat kills something small and defenseless, then brings it home and puts it in your bed, that’s okay. When your boyfriend does the same thing, all of the sudden it’s “creepy.” When your cat finally learns to use the toilet, you congratulate him, and you don’t even make him flush. Yet when your boyfriend just forgets to flush (maybe he just didn’t want the water in the shower to be all wonky, and then it just slipped his mind) it’s like it’s the end of the world or something. You see what I’m getting at here?